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This page will cover the writeup for the D&D horror one-shot, and any potential followups for it. If we ever do any other D&D stuff not part of a major campaign, it will go on this page. The Records of Richard, Rob, and Roger Three men were waiting for a train. A train that will take them far away. They know where they hope the train will take them, but they can't know for sure. Yet it doesn't matter. Now, tell me why? Three strong, independent men bought tickets from a hipster. They were going to go on a camping trip to the Pacific Northwest. There was Roger Sterling, a Coca-Cola advertisement executive with numerous addictions including smoking and drinking. There was Rob, a man with an uncanny resemblance to famous actor Jim Carrey. And there was Richard Grimace, an ex-cop with an empty revolver. There was also a middle-aged woman with a young son, as well as the conductor and his assistant. The seven rode the train for a few days, through a thick forest with mountains in the distance. Rob attempted to make small talk with the other passengers, but no one was having it. Not long later, the train suddenly stopped. They could see smoke, and it soon became apparent that there was a problem. The train could not be repaired, and the conductor and his assistant would have to leave and get help to repair it, taking the woman and her son with them. This left the three very disgruntled gentlemen behind to wait for two days. Thankfully, there was a barn nearby, so they went inside to camp out. There was slightly more small talk as the trio properly introduced themselves. Of particular note was Rob, who seemed to have an uncanny knowledge of the future. He warned them of wolves, and that night, Roger woke up and sure enough heard wolves outside the barn. But the wolves went away, and he went back to sleep. He was later woken up again, this time by something much louder. Roger attempted to wake up Rob by throwing a pen, but it fell to the ground, seemingly alerting whatever was outside. Roger crawled over and rustled Rob awake. There was pounding on the walls, enough to also wake Richard up. The three worked together to seal up any holes as well as barricade the unlocked door, but soon enough the bear appeared to leave. But it seemed the cogs of fate did not want our group to stay in the barn, because later that night there was a third occurrence. A thunderstorm started, and then a bolt of lightning struck the roof, causing much of it to cave in and leaving them unsheltered. They decided to stay there until sunrise then look for shelter elsewhere. While on watch, Roger thought he saw something in the trees, but no one else did. Morning came, and the three set out into the rain. Both Richard and Roger separately heard some twigs snapping behind them, but neither saw anything. They eventually came upon a fence and into a mansion. It seemed abandoned - a perfect place to wait out the remainder of the two days and definitely not haunted at all. They found themselves by a fireplace. Along the mantle there were several peculiar items, and Richard nonchalantly picked up a golden cross and examined it. He set it back down and picked up a toy horse. Roger, meanwhile, snagged the golden cross for himself. At this point, the group continued to exchange stories and learn a bit more about each other. Eventually growing bored of this, they eventually decided to search around the house. Richard led the way, and they found themselves inside the master bedroom on the second floor. Within here were some strange findings. Roger found the owner’s diary. He appeared to be a slaver, and this was pretty much confirmed when Richard found a whip in the wardrobe. Rob also found a strange journal. The trio returned to the fireplace. Roger had to piss, and heard some scratching in the walls beside him. As is common sense, he moved to aim his piss at the wall that was being scratched, but saw nothing. Then, Richard saw a figure appear in the doorway and quickly dart out of sight. The three were now on guard - they were not alone. They started looking through the house, finding nothing, but upon returning to the fireplace, Roger’s bag was hanging from the chandelier! Now they were just being toyed with. Roger managed to get it down, and they went to the kitchen in the next room. There, they saw claw marks. To the left, they saw green eyes and heard some ghostly moaning. The trio collectively decided that it was time to leave. Just as they had decided this, something came running out of the darkness towards Richard. Armed with his trusty whip, Richard Belmont attempted to whip the monster in true Castlevania fashion. However, he missed, and the creature leapt onto him and started violently scratching at his chest. Roger stabbed at it, twice, and it eventually backed off. The thing was humanoid, but had clawed arms. It was also missing a face, and had an indentation where its eyes and mouth were. Even with a fractured Coke bottle embedded in its face, it did not seem too fazed. The trio took its moment of weakness as an opportunity and ran the fuck outside, slamming the door behind them. With a brief moment of respite, the group walked through the rain. They decided to head to the nearby chapel, as surely that would be more peaceful and not also be haunted. But as soon as they stepped inside, they found another slender figure, this one much taller. They leapt through the window, but something tried to grab at Rob. He barely managed to get away with the help of Roger and Richard. Nope, nope, nope. The three were done with this spooky shit. They headed for an exit path, but upon arriving there they found yet another slender creature. This one was a 7 foot tall horned figure, in a black robe, with limbs longer than its body. They tried to back away slowly, but it started to snort like a bull and charge for them. Rob and Roger dodged out of the way, but it nabbed Richard and started dragging him away. Rob fired a taser at it, and it appeared to vanish. From the two attacks, Richard was now deeply scarred. And deeply scared. They continued along the exit path. But five minutes later, they heard the snorting again. Wasting no time, Richard dodged and Rob climbed up a tree. But Roger was too slow; it tackled him to the ground. Richard attempted to use his whip again, and he cracked it at the beast, who merely turned its head toward Richard and slowly rose, the the point where you could see all of its vertebrae. Realizing he done fucked up, Richard took out the toy horse and left it on the ground, but it ignored it. Richard said “back, foul beast!” It was now Rob’s turn to try to catch its attention. He threw a molotov at it. Sadly, none of them knew about the legendary molly jumping technique that might have saved them, but it did burn the beast’s hood. Its attention was fully on Rob now, who started to run away and it gave chase. Roger and Richard, meanwhile, were left to tend to their wounds, and they had a decision to make. They were at a literal and figurative crossroads. Now, reader, you must choose. Which path do these two take? Path A) Abandon Rob to his demise, and run back to the barn? or Path B) Chase after Rob, and try to help save him and survive together? Through magical gifts, the duo were able to experience both outcomes of their choice. For the sake of chronology, we will cover Path A first. Path A: The “A” is for “Assholes” Like true scumbags, the duo decided to abandon Rob and head back for the barn. Surely, they lied to themselves, that’s where Rob would head when he got the chance, both ignoring the fact that an Eldritch abomination was chasing him down. Karma would soon rear its ugly head, however. Something started to chase them. It was the Annihilation bear, complete with bull horns and hooves. They started running, but the attacks from earlier started to take their toll on poor Richard. The beast caught up to him, punting him high into the air. As Roger looked back, he saw Richard brutally land on the ground, his neck snapping and dying instantly. Sadly, his wife and two kids would never find out what happened to him. Panic intensifying, Roger kept running. His biggest regret would be not selling enough Coca-Cola to the people of the world. As he thought this, the beast caught up and impaled Roger. “Not today”, Roger thought, reversing time slightly, but this actually only made it worse. He was impaled once more, in an even more gruesome matter, and then it brought him to the ground and flattened his skull with its hooves. Sure enough, Roger was dead. Alone, and not knowing of the others’ fate, poor Rob had actually eluded the beast, by heading back towards the chapel. In what must have been desperation, he found a wooden cross and made an offering to Satan. Yet again, something started chasing him. While he managed to elude them for a little while, they eventually caught him, dragging him into the darkness. He threw a molotov, but it was futile. He was burned alive, writhing around in agony until he burned to death. Game Over. Or was it? Path B) The “B” is for “Bumbling Idiots” At the crossroads, Richard felt a strange pain in his neck, and Roger in his stomach. They felt an odd sense of motivation and camaraderie, and decided to try and help Rob. They headed back to the grounds and managed to find him inside the chapel. The three pondered their next steps. They couldn’t escape, or the beasts would chase them. They needed to get to the root of the problem and snuff it out. They read the two journals in search of clues. Through some sleuthing and puzzle solving, they uncovered in a black book in the corner with a pentagram on him. Connecting the stories of the journals, they learned of two pits - the first one through a cave, and the other under the chapel. They reasoned that in these pits they could solve what was going on. The first pit was right under them. They headed inside, and eventually found a final chamber. There was a gaping black void at the end of the room, and in the center was a pentagram with chained up skeletons surrounding it. They found some holy water, as well as a ring, which Richard recognized from the journals. Rob lit the ring on fire, and they could hear screams and moans coming from within it. It eventually died down though, and the ring became ash. All of a sudden, something started materializing from the pentagram. At the same time, several spindly fingers rose from the pit. Roger, the absolute genius, threw a molotov at the pit, but this only appeared to make things worse. They heard a booming voice speak: “With this act, Jack, you have severed your blood pact with the devil. You will never win another death racing campaign again.” However, no one understood what the fuck it was talking about, and they all hightailed it out of there. Before they did, however, something grabbed Richard, and it was only thanks to a clutch holy water throw from Rob that he was able to break free and escape. Exiting the pit, they found a horrible sight. The sky was now pitch black, and the moon blood red. They pondered, had they started the apocalypse? They weren’t out of the woods yet, as whatever came out of the pit was still following them. The three started hiding, but heard the sound of hooves and deep breathing. It eventually faded, and they headed towards the other pit. They figured it was their only recourse. Along the way, Roger started to lose his mind, hearing some Latin chanting. They eventually convinced him to keep heading for the pit, and eventually found an enormous cave mouth, guarded by - you guessed it - a dark human figure. It wagged its finger at them, as if mocking them. They made their way in anyway, but not before getting chased by another beast. Luckily, it stopped once they had entered, and stood there. Richard believed it simply couldn’t enter, but Roger had a much darker theory that it was staying there to keep them from exiting. Further in, they found a metal door, and opened it. It was an identical room as before, just bigger - pentagram, pit, chained-up skeletons, you name it. On the floor, Roger found an empty box labeled “dynamite”. Now that was an idea - maybe if they blew up the pits, they could end this nightmare. But it wasn’t to be. They couldn’t find the actual dynamite itself anywhere, and they heard something laughing at them. Fingers emerged from the pit, just like before. They receded after Rob threw the last of the holy water at it, but then just came back even fiercer. Desperately, the other two tried opening the door, but it wouldn’t budge. After the second failed attempt, it appeared to open on its own. A figure stood there, another horned and hooded man. He removed his hood, and had the face of a ram and goat. He let out a piercing screech, and everything went black. The absolute fuckups that they were, Richard, Rob, and Roger were dead... again. Perhaps one day we’ll see how things would have gone if they had made different decisions. But until then, Richard, Rob, and Roger remain ruined and ravaged by the really repulsive wrath of the red ram devil’s ruthless revenge. But rest reassured, and rejoice, as their return and redemption may reoccur sooner than later. Until then, we will resume our route with Robute and his remotely related group of rambunctious racketeers. Au revoir!